Wednesday, December 03, 2003

This word you are using, "precious," I do not think it means what you think it does...

The only good thing about the impending premiere of the third excruciating installment of the relentlessly tedious Lord of the Rings trilogy is that the three-years-and-counting Internet geekgasm about these fricking movies will finally, FINALLY, end soon.

The cast members, alas, still labor under the delusion that they have taken part in the making of The Greatest Movies That Anyone Has Ever Made In the History of Making Movies.

    Orlando Bloom led co-stars Ian McKellen and Viggo Mortensen in the goodbye dance for excited fans. Cast members had attended the world premiere of "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," the final film in Peter Jackson's trilogy, in this capital city on Monday.

    "It's amazing. The whole experience has just been the most precious time ever," said Bloom, who plays Elf warrior Legolas.

Still, I imagine that it couldn't be as bad as the fifty thousand DVD featurettes of Elijah Wood smirking about how very, very wonderful and precious being part of these very, very wonderful and precious -- and by "very, very wonderful and precious" I mean "very, very long and overwrought" -- movies has been.

And there's only one more Oscar season of fanboys griping that the movies had better win this time OR ELSE, never mind that there have been dozens of amazing motion pictures this year like Lost in Translation, American Splendor, Matchstick Men, Kill Bill, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Bend It Like Beckham, A Mighty Wind, all of which were a hell of a lot better than the previous installemnts in this turgid, bloated trilogy.

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