Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Here's a painful review of DC Comics' 1988 crossover event, Millenium.

    So I’ve been reading “Millennium” lately. Don’t ask why – really, is there a possible good answer for that? I mean, reading “Millennium” is the comic book equivalent of a horseradish enema. It’s not fun.

    And yet I’m reading it. Apparently the Guardians of the Universe, who had left the universe sometime either right before or right after “Crisis,” have decided to return to the planet Earth with their Zamoran brides and usher in the next evolutionary stage of mankind. This involves ten people chosen totally at random by the Guardians in order to fulfill the cosmic prophecy that Earth will spawn the next race of galactic immortals. But, here’s the hook to really get all the kids – the Manhunters are opposed to this, so they want to stop the Guardians and the superheroes from bringing about the next step in human evolution – which everyone refers to as “The Millennium.”

Mostly what I remember about this book was that, while it was cool to see all those scenes of just about every DC super-hero together, it was really lame that, in the final issue, when the Guardian and Zamaron (don't ask) used the last of their cosmic powers on a select group of chosen individuals to jump-start the evolution of mankind to the next level (please, don't ask), the chosen became -- wait for it -- a bunch of super-heroes. And really, really lame super-heroes, at that; I remember one of them (a Japanese computer magnate) gained the power to control computers, or something. Which is nice and all, but seems awfully specific for cosmically-induced powers. I mean, if the story had taken place in the Stone Age, would he have gained the power to control wheels?

Now that I think about it, I think this story closely preceded my high school comics hiatus. Wonder if there's a correlation.

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