Watch this now.

That is all.

Why didn't I think of that?

Best. Cafepress T-shirts. Ever.

Not quite there yet.

Amazon just sent me an e-mail altering me to the fact that they've cut the price of Star Trek V from $12.99 to $10.99. That's still $10.99 too much. I think the only way I could have brought myself to own this one would be if Paramount had let Shatner do a director's edition. That, at least, would have had some entertainment value...

SNAKES ON A PLANE!

How awesome was SNAKES ON A PLANE, which I just saw on the biggest motherfucking movie screen in Minnesota? So awesome my iPod knew how awesome the movie was. On the way, set to random, it played the following as a warmup to the movie:

• Are You Ready to be Heartbroken? - Sandie Shaw
  
• Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses
  
• Queen Bitch - David Bowie
  
• Angel of Harlem - U2
  
• Making Time - Creation
  
• Walls Come Tumbling Down - The Jam
  
• Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
  

You're probably reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wow, if I ever got such an awesome string of songs in a row from my iPod, I wonder how long it would take until I got another set of songs that even came close to surpassing its awesomeness?"

In my case?

RIGHT AFTER THE MOVIE.

Coming home, driving 75 miles an hour down an empty highway with the window down and the volume way up, I was treated to this agglomeration of music:

• Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe - Barry White
  
• Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses (That's right, the most awesome song in the universe TWICE!)
  
• (Don't Fear) the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
  
• Sweet Talkin' Woman - ELO
  
• Goodbye Stranger - Supertramp
  
• R.A.M.O.N.E.S. - The Ramones
  

How do you know when a movie is that than which no other movie may be more awesome?

When it's called SNAKES ON A PLANE, that's when.

Note to self

Don't fuck with Charles Durning. (Via James Nicoll.)

Just the facts, ma'am.

Ask a stupid question...

Slate asks the following about George Felix Allen Jr.:



The answer is twofold: 1) Yes; and 2) That's really never stopped anyone before, now, has it?

It depends on what your definition of "planet" is.

A committee of scientists has revised the criteria for planethood; if accepted, the number of planets in our solar system would expand from 9 to 12 and possible higher:

Among the chosen few within the solar system would be not only Pluto, whose status has been challenged in recent years, but also Ceres, the largest asteroid; 2003 UB313, nicknamed Xena, an object discovered by Dr. Brown in 2005 orbiting far beyond Pluto in the outer solar system; and even Pluto’s largest moon, Charon.

In addition, at least a dozen more solar system objects are waiting in the wings for more data to see if they fit the new definition of planethood, which is that an object be massive enough that gravity has formed it into a sphere and that it circles a star and not some other planet.

The definition, they said, would apply both inside and outside the solar system.

The new definition was to be announced today in Prague, where some 2,500 astronomers are meeting in the triannual assembly of the International Astronomical Union. It is the work of the group’s Planet Definition Committee, whose chairman is Owen Gingerich, a Harvard astronomer. The astronomers will vote on the definition on Aug. 25.

However, the question remains: What about Bizarro World? Will the new emphasis on roundness mean that our square sister planet will no longer be a planet? And who gets to break the news to Bizarro?

Super.

So not long ago Superman III was on TV. It's a terrible movie, with none of the grandeur and weight of the orignal Richard Donner film and a nonsensical plot and, well, Richard Pryor. There's almost nothing to recommend it to anyone.

Almost.

Because it's still got Christopher Reeve playing Superman. And even trapped in this horrible movie, he found ways to make his portrayal work. It's the little things. There's an overlong, unfunny extended opening to the film that tries very very hard to be hysterical, and it isn't, and what's more unfunny than that? At one point, a car crashes into and on top of a fire hydrant and fills with water, for some reason --

-- look, I TOLD you it was terrible --

-- and Superman rescues the driver and lifts him out of the flooded car, as Superman does.

And then, once he's made sure the driver's fine, Superman shakes the driver's hand.

That's awesome, in a peculiarly Supermanic way; he's honored to have had the chance to help you and he's thrilled you're OK and he takes a second to convey that with a casual gesture.

And then he flies off to do it again.

The snarkiest web ad in the world

Phil, Phil, Phil...

We both went to school with people more famous than Angela...

Page 123

De has tagged me with the following:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog/Live Journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag five people.

From The Lanahan Readings in the American Polity (Third Edition):

This is not to say that these variables don't play a role in making public policy - clearly they do. Nevertheless, our explanation for gridlock focuses on two primary factors: (1) the preferences of members of Congress regarding particular policies, and (2) super-majority institutions - the Senate filibuster and the presidential veto....

The idea is really quite straightforward. When considering the U.S. Congress, instead of thinking which party is in control, think of the members as arrayed from left to right - liberal to conservative. The further left a member is positioned, the more that member favors increased government activity on health care, the environment, education, and so on.

Tag:

• She Who Must Be Obeyed
  
• Phil
  
• Simon
  
• Lefty Brown
  
• Elisha Cuthbert

Burying the lede

Via Obscure Store comes this tale of a man hit by the Girls Gone Wild bus in Iowa City. Which begs the question, what the hell is the Girls Gone Wild bus doing in Iowa City?

Genius. Sheer and utter genius.

Not actually love, actually

Rodrigo Santoro is joining the cast of Lost. The only place you may remember him from is Love, Actually, in which he played the object of Laura Linney's workplace crush.

When we saw that movie, we found ourselves sitting in front of some little old ladies and so we held our breath in anticipation of the nigh-inevitable mid-film chatter. Lucky for us, they actually knew how to behave during a movie and were silent throughout..except for one incident which was too funny to get mad at.

You see, there's a fairly intimate scene in the movie between Linney and Santoro. Early in this sequence, as the camera lingered on Santoro, we heard one of the pepperpots say, "Oh, he's gorgeous." And, well, I imagine he is, if you go for that sort of thing, so no harm, no foul.

A few minutes later, Santoro is down to his black designer skivvies. And in response, the same pepperpot announces to the theatre, "Oh, he's really gorgeous!"

We tried, as best we could, to keep our convulsive laughter silent.

The Office: The Webisodes

Precisely two people on the planet will understand why I both laughed and cringed at this bit from a review of NBC's online mini-episodes of The Office:

The Accountants is a particularly good showcase for Brian Baumgartner, who plays the fat and enigmatic Kevin. Baumgartner's body splits the difference between Dilbert's and Sydney Greenstreet's, and he lets all kinds of sweet and creepy smiles play out on his sly lips. He seems like the kind of guy who would procrastinate by watching this show in his polyester work space and then blow off the rest of the afternoon trying to dream up something better.

Our next President

...at least on 24, will be Wayne Palmer, brother of the late former President David Palmer. I can't say this is a development that thrills me; 24 has done far too much with of playing musical Presidents, and it's hard to picture Wayne as being suited for the job after watching him screw up one thing after another during Season Three. Plus, it would have been nice to see some more of Ray Wise, who did a good job with very little to do it with in the relatively thankless role of playing Vice President Gardner last season; the character only existed as a red herring, but Wise gave Gardner some real depth in just a few episodes.

Still, if the creators of 24 felt like they had to go this route, I wish they'd at least have set Day Six on the day of inauguration, and somehow worked the shift in administrations into the plot. We've seen any number of scenarios in which an unplanned change of leadership has wreaked havoc in a crisis situation; why not explore how a shift that everyone on the planet knows is coming can change things this time around?

Law & Order in order

This is nifty: A graphic timeline of who's been on Law & Order over the years. It's suprising to see how long Jessie L. Martin's been on the show; for some reason I still think of him as the new guy. And I'm always sad to be reminded of what a short run Carrie Lowell had as Jack McCoy's assistant...

About bloody damn time

Waking the Dead, a superbly and subtly done BBC forensic drama, is finally coming out on DVD in the US. We've been watching on BBC America, but the episodes are dramatically edited down to fit the time alotted (for some reason, BBCA has no problems putting comedies in 40-minute slots to avoid cutting them, but has no compunctions about trimming dramas down to fit into an hour or two-hour slot). So while we enjoy it a great deal, we often have to do an episode post-mortem on the couch to figure out exactly how the case was resolved.

The show is described at the link above as a "British CSI," but it's much closer in concept to the bland Cold Case. Like CSI, however, the eccentric lead detective inexplicably grows a rather ugly beard between the third and fourth seasons of the show.

The streets will flow with the blood of the nonbelievers; or, The Flash on DVD

We just finished watching the pilot episode of the 1990-1991 Flash TV series that aired on CBS. At the time, I hadn't realized just how violent it was. I think more police officers were killed in the 90 minutes of that pilot than in the entire history of real-life American law enforcement.

And a funny sign of the times: The Flash, in his secret identity, is police scientist Barry Allen, who doesn't get much respect from his fellow police and isn't considered a "real" cop by his father. Poor Barry was ahead of his time; ten years later or so, and he'd be one among dozens of forensic cops on the network...