Halloween at stately Matter-Eater Manor

1. Either I or She Who Must Be Obeyed says, "Frak! It's October 31st and we didn't buy any candy!"

2. The person who did not say, "Frak! It's October 31st and we didn't buy any candy!" runs outside to remove the bulb from the front porch light to deter trick-or-treaters.

3. Hide in the back part of the house to minimize any signs of life that might encourage trick-or-treaters.

Every. Damn. Year.